


The Adventure of Ruby and the Terrorists.

by tenaya



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor, Ruby the Galactic Gumshoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1991-03-01
Updated: 1991-03-01
Packaged: 2017-10-21 21:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenaya/pseuds/tenaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avon and Vila stop by Summa Nulla and meet some interesting characters</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventure of Ruby and the Terrorists.

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written with Shann DePuy.

The Adventure of Ruby and the Terrorists 

The time is the Second Century of the New Calendar. The planet is Summa Nulla, crossroad of the galaxy.

Four of the planet’s six moons shine down upon me as I approached the nightclub, The Naughty Nebula. I had been hired as a bodyguard by the Digital Circus, a band of renegade Techies. My name is Ruby. I’m a galactic gumshoe. A good one.

I walk into the club and look around. The inflatable bar has expanded to make room for the mass of creatures that are dancing and drinking. Off in one of the distal spiral arms, I see And/Or, the Techie I was hired to protect. He’s talking to two off-worlders, terrorists from the privateer ship, Liberator. And/Or spots me and waves. I walk over, keeping one eye on the terrorists and the other on the dance floor, carefully side-stepping an assortment of tails, tentacles and pseudopods that whirl around me in synch with the rhythmic pulse of music.

“Hiya, Ruby!” And/Or sounds glad to see me. I wonder why. He gestures to the other man. “This is Avon and this is Vila. They’re buying some custom made components.”

I take a closer look at his companions as I sit down. Avon has dark hair and darker eyes. He stares back at me, measuring me as I measure him. Dressed in a silver shirt that shines as if it is made out of pure platinum and spun diamonds, he glitters with confidence and power. He’s handsome, all right, and he knows it. I can see he’s the sort of man that attracts danger wherever he goes. I mark him down as trouble.

His companion couldn’t be more different. He smiles at me, his round face suddenly animated by interest and appreciation. It’s a nice face, I decide, good natured and relaxed; maybe even gentle. Yeah, he could be trouble, too. I turn back to And/Or.

“You Techies are getting a pretty good reputation if you’re pulling in this sort of clientele,” I remark.

“We need some specialized equipment for repairs,” said Avon.

I looked at And/Or. “Speaking of repairs, how is Angel Lips lately?” Angel Lips was a Frankie, an android hooker that And/Or had fallen in love with. She was custom made, built from circuits and plastiflesh: a high tech bunny. She had gotten me into a lot of trouble and the scars were still healing. I didn’t have a lot of time for Angel.

And/Or looks happy. “Funny you should ask. She came by yesterday and asked me for a tune up. She’s in great shape.” A dreamy expression came over him. “In fact, she’s waiting for me here in the bar; we’re going dancing after I finish with business.” And/Or suddenly looks worried. “Hey, Ruby, you’re not still mad at Angel, are you? It took me two weeks to repair the holes you made last time you shot her. Besides, you promised you wouldn’t do that to her anymore,” he pleads.

“Yeah, well, just keep her out of my way,” I growl. I make it a rule not to mix business with pleasure. I decide to change the subject. “So tell me, And/Or; what is it that you want me to do?”

The Techie glances at his watch. “I need to go pick up the parts. Could you just kinda, uh, entertain, uh my friends here?”

Diplomatic And/Or isn’t. “Yeah, sure. No problem,” I say. And/Or gets up and leaves and I turn to Avon. “So tell me, Avon, how’s the rebellion business going?”

“It keeps me busy. May I buy you a drink?”

He may be arrogant, but he certainly is well-mannered. “Sure,” I reply, curious about him in spite of myself. “I’ll have whatever you’re drinking.”

He turns to Vila. “Why don’t you go to the bar and get us two Stinging Comebacks and yourself another Free and Easy.”

Vila smiles. “Great idea, Avon.” He stands, starts to leave then looks worriedly down at me. “You’re not planning on leaving right away, are you?”

“Not a chance,” I reassure him. “I’m being paid to keep an eye on you two.”

“Great. I’ll be right back,” he says as he leaves.

I turn and watch him walk away. His trousers are snug and he has a quick, springy step. “Nice,” I think to myself as I admire the view. Maybe I need to rethink my rule about not mixing business with pleasure. I turn back to Avon.

“I see you take your job very seriously,” he says, smiling at me. For the first time I sense that maybe there’s more to him than the cold-hearted bastard he’s rumored to be.

“I’m good at what I do. I find it’s a good idea to try and cover all the angles, if you know what I mean.”

He smiles even more broadly and this time it actually reaches his eyes. “Quite. So tell me, just how good is the Digital Circus?” I can see him beginning to relax a little.

“If it runs on electricity, they can fix it,” I assure him.

To fill the time, I tell him a few tales I’ve heard about the Techies and the outrageous stunts they’ve pulled. He’s a good listener and the time speeds by. Finally, I realize too much time as passed and that Vila is way late with the drinks.

I interrupt my own story. “What happened to your friend?” I ask, sounding more than a little suspicious.

Avon glances towards the bar and frowns. “I’m afraid Vila is easily distracted.”

I turn and look. Just visible through the smoke and waving antennae, I see Vila at the bar. A shapely, familiar figure is hanging onto him, whispering in his ear. Even at this distance I recognize her as a Frankie. I peer closer. Yeah, it’s Angel Lips.

I turn back to Avon. “Excuse me,” I say as I stand. I walk to the bar. I’m very close when Angel leans slightly away from Vila and smiles at me.

“Oh. Hello, Ruby. I didn’t know you were here tonight.” Her voice is sweetly insincere. Frankies are terrible liars. “Are you here with anybody?” She blows gently in Vila’s ear. “I’d like you to meet my new honey.”

I draw my trusty Smith Hitachi Godzilla Blaster and take careful aim. “I don’t think so, Angel.”

Click, click. BOOM!

The Frankie is thrown on top of the bar by the blast. Her circuits ooze out onto the polished mahogany surface. Vila’s eyes are as round as two of the Nullian moons as he stares at her. “She’s not real!” he gasps.

Avon and And/Or materialize out of the crowd of dancers, none of whom have missed a step.

Avon leans over and runs an appreciative hand over Angel’s bare arm. “An android, eh? Exquisite workmanship,” he murmurs. “Top quality plastiflesh.” 

And/Or is not happy. “Oh Ruby! Not again! You promised,” he whines.

I holster my weapon and shrug. “I lied.”

Avon has started to scoop up the circuits into a neat pile. “Barman, a bag, please,” he orders.

“Paper or plastic, sir?”

Avon smiles. “Plastic will do nicely. I like plastic.”

Oh, no. Not another one. “By any chance are you related to an archaeologist named T. J. Teru?” I ask.

And/Or is still complaining so I interrupt. “Look, I couldn’t help it. Besides, you better hurry; looks like you’re going to have some competition this time, kid.”

Vila still is wide eyed. “She’s an android?” he asks, horrified.

Pleased, I loop my arm though his and say, “So, you like your women real? I’d heard about guys like you; I just didn’t realize there were any of you left.”

I can hear Avon and And/Or arguing over the music. I can even hear Angel. “I hurt,” she sighs. It doesn’t take a genius to know she was about to start pumping out hot tears. Yeah, Angel’s quite a show when she gets going. I’ll have to remember to use two shots on her next time. Or maybe three would be better yet.

I give Vila a little squeeze. He grins with delight. “Let me buy you a drink.” I look at the barman and order in a loud voice. “Barman! A couple of Cliffhangers here, and you’d better make them doubles.”

**Author's Note:**

> Previously published in Magnificent 7, #9.
> 
> Ruby, the Galactic Gumshoe is a radio drama available from ZBS.org. It’s a lot of fun!


End file.
